End of Daze
by David S
Summary: This spoof of the movie "End of Days" features the cast of FF7 and Xenogears.


END OF DAZE 

By David Solomon 

SC4000@aol.com 

The date was December 29, 2000. It was night. Over a year and a half had passed since the Sephiroth incident. With Christmas come and gone, students out of school, and presents exchanged, everybody was in a happy mood. Except the townsfolk of Mideel. The few that still lived there (from lack of money or love of town) didn't have many jobs to pass around. Not to mention the fact that 95% of the town was lifestream. It was on this fateful day that a strange thing occurred. 

A homeless man (as if there were any homes) laid down near the lifestream, watching the sunlight bounce off of it. Suddenly, a strange figure, covered in lifestream, rose out of it and began to climb the cliff. The man got nervous and crawled back, unsure of what was happening. The figure was a humanoid shape, but once he had climbed the cliff and was on the same level as the man, most of the lifestream was gone. Under it was nothing. Nothing seeable, at least. 

"Are you the ghost of Christmas past?" the man asked. "Because if you are, you're a few days late. Christmas ended yester-" 

The man didn't finish his sentence, because the spirit possessed him. Consequently, his appearance changed. His hair became gray and grew. His eyes turned from innocent to evil. And, in just 30 seconds, Sephiroth was reborn. 

The next morning, at the Cloud Strife apartment in Kalm, Cloud's eye contact was consistently switching between a sharp knife and his wrists. Cloud picked up the knife. But a knock on the door beat the suicide, and Cloud placed the knife down and answered the door. It was Barret. 

"Yo, Cloud!" Barret called out. "We gotta get to Nibbelheim fast! There's been a report of a crazy guy on the Shinra Mansion roof shootin' people wit a gun! You had breakfast yet?" 

"No," Cloud responded. "I was just about to." 

"Well, hurry up! We're already late." 

Cloud walked into his kitchen, picked out a blender, and began putting things in. He put in some cereal, milk, cheese, a sandwich that had been on the ground for 3 days, a rotten apple, some caffeine pills, and a slim jim. "Barret, do you have anything disgusting I could put in here that would make people go 'ew'?" 

"Just some lint," He responded, and handed him some lint from his pocket. Cloud placed it in, and turned on the blender. "They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Cloud said, and drunk from the blender. He then proceeded to regurgitate it onto the floor. 

"Ew! This tastes like dirt and mold!" Cloud said. He tried drinking from it again, resisting his gag reflex. After all, he had to eat (drink?) something. 

"Aren't you gonna be sick?" Barret asked. 

"Well, I will be once the caffeine wears off," Cloud answered. "But until then..." Cloud then ran out of the room at lightning speed, followed by Barret. 

Cloud and Barret drove up to the Shinra Mansion and jumped out. People were running and screaming bloody murder as shots were fired from the top. 

"Damn, this guy's nutty!" Barret shouted. 

"How do we get up there?" Cloud asked. 

"Here," Barret responded, handing him a pair of boots. 

"What're these?" 

"They're dragoon boots. They let you take really long jumps." 

Cloud nodded and placed the boots on. He jumped...and found that he went up a very high distance. The problem was, he had no forward momentum, and fell flat on his face on the pavement. 

Barret took a break from his bullet trading to give Cloud a look of disgust. "Get up, you idiot." 

Cloud nodded, took a few steps back, and took another jump, this time with too much forward momentum. He ran into the wall just below the roof, but was able to cling on. Meanwhile, the lunatic ran out of bullets and jumped in the chimney. Cloud got on the roof and ran after him. To get down faster, he jumped into the chimney. Or at least he tried. Cloud forgot he had the dragoon boots on, and with forward momentum, jumped off the roof and landed in a nearby Nibbelheim dweller's pool. 

"Hey, just what the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked, running out of his house. "Get out of my pool!" 

Cloud got out, nodded, and ran out of the man's yard and into the Shinra Mansion, soaking wet. He was about to take the secret passageway into the basement, when the lunatic came out of it. He then jumped when he saw Cloud, and slowly walked backwards. Cloud finally saw the lunatic. His most lunatic related fact was his patch. The radically long blond hair was sort of weird, but not really. 

Cloud took out his sword and followed him. The lunatic spoke. "The end is near! The dark angel is loose from his prison!" 

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked. The lunatic then pulled out a gun in an attempt to shoot Cloud. Cloud instantly reacted and lunged at him, slicing the lunatic lightly enough so as not to kill him, but heavily enough so that he would be stunned. At around that time, Barret showed up. 

"Man, did I miss all the action? What happened?" 

Cloud looked up. "Not much. He babbled some religious stuff, then tried to kill me." 

"That sounds about standard." 

Minutes later, the FBI arrived. They took all the necessary evidence, and loaded the guy into an ambulance. 

"By the way," an FBI agent said to Cloud. "You claim he spoke, right?" 

"Right." 

"That's impossible." 

"Impossible? How come?" 

"Because Bartholomew Fatima of the Nisan Church sealed his mouth up with cement approximately 22096.2 minutes ago." 

"So that's his name," Cloud said. Then Cloud realized the last thing the guy had said. "Wait a minute, sealed up his mouth?" 

"That's right. Cloud, have you been drinking again?" 

"Shut up, man. I know what I heard." 

"We'll see." The FBI agent then walked away. 

Sephiroth walked down the streets. To conceal his identity, he wore a large cloak that covered most of his body. Besides, it made him look cool. Oh, how he longed to trigger the apocalypse. Oh, how he longed to make- 

His train of thought was interrupted by a lone skateboarder he ran into. Sephiroth's strength prevented a fall, but the teenager skateboarder wasn't so lucky. 

"Hey, watch where you're going, man!" The skateboarder shouted. 

Sephiroth, ignoring the anger, looked down at the kid's shirt. It read "Apocalypse is the only way to go." 

"I like your shirt, kid," Sephiroth commented. 

"Man, screw you!" The skateboarder then skated off in the opposite direction. 

Sephiroth shouted, "Hey, kid!" The skateboarder looked back at Sephiroth. Sephiroth gave him the finger. The skateboarder gave the finger to Sephiroth. But by diverting his attention to that, the skateboarder didn't realize where he was going, and his private arena came in contact with a fire hydrant at a dangerous speed. The skateboarder fell down and clutched his groin area while moaning. 

Sephiroth crossed the road. As he passed the skateboarder, he mumbled under his breath, "Nice shirt." 

Cloud angrily stomped into the Nisan Church. He had drove a long way to get there. Now, he was going to get some answers. A man with gray hair, yet strangely young, came out of a room. 

"Welcome to the Nisan Church. My name is Billy. Have you come to pray?" 

"No," Cloud responded coldly. "I'm not a believer." 

"Really? How come?" 

"I had a disagreement with God. I thought my girlfriend should live, he thought otherwise." 

"Sorry about the loss. Maybe it's time to regain your faith." 

"I'm not here to pray. I'm here to talk about a certain man by the name of Fatima." 

"Oh." Billy walked away from Cloud. "The FBI has already came and asked me questions. What more could you possibly want?" 

"I want to know why he fired at innocent civilians in Nibbelheim." 

"There's a whole other world out there! Bart saw a part of it, and it drove him insane." 

"What could possibly cause a man to seal his mouth shut? Let alone with cement!" 

"Wait a few days." 

"Why? What happens in a few days?" 

Billy walked towards a door. "You wouldn't understand. That's what I told the FBI, and that's what I'm telling you." 

"Try me." 

"I'd rather not." With that, Billy exited via the door he was standing by. Cloud was about to leave, but instead decided to wait about a minute. Then, he entered the door and walked down a few flights of stairs. When he got to the bottom, being careful not to make much noise, he saw many men paired at computers. He also heard an old woman speaking what appeared to be gibberish. Conversation began. 

"That's the 3rd gibberish speaker we've had this week," Billy said. "Citan, how's the translation holding up?" 

"Not very well," Citan responded. "The only thing it picked up is something about a girl named Tifa." 

Tifa? Cloud was stunned. What did this have to do with Tifa? At that point, the gibberish speaker screamed, "alagabaladooduem!" and pointed at Cloud. 

Billy looked at Cloud and pushed him towards the stairs. "Please! There's a whole world down here that you're not ready to enter!" 

"This looks like just a room to me," Cloud responded. 

Billy gritted his teeth in frustration. "Get out!" 

Tifa, who used to live in Nibbelheim, now lived in Cosmo Canyon, not expecting as many shooting lunatics. Unfortunately, that's called irony. 

Because, at that point, three religious fanatics broke into her house. Tifa, who was already nervous when she heard her door break down, was even more nervous when the three came into her room before she could lock the door. One jumped on her, and took out a bible and knife. Another one held her down. A third one, carrying a gun, stayed outside the door to see if anyone was coming. 

"Aaah! What are you guys doing?" She screamed. 

"Nothing serious," The lookout man stated. "We're just going to kill you. Don't worry. Your death will save the lives of billions of people." 

"What are you guys talking about?" The bible holder, ignoring her, began to chant prayers. "Oh, Lord, we give thee thanks..." 

"Just tell me one more time," Barret asked, while driving Cloud to Tifa's house in a buggy. "Why are we driving to Tifa's house?" 

"Because she has something to do with something that will happen in a few days. That's all I could find out from Billy at the church. I even had to do some spying!" 

"Well, it better mean something. We don't have time to do all this driving around. We need to find information out as fast as possible!" 

They drove up to Tifa's house, only to find that another buggy was parked. 

"Oh, no," Cloud stated. "See! I told you something was up. Wait here, in case more come." With that said, Cloud jumped out of the buggy, only to fly several yards and land flat on his face. "Damnit! Why do I still have these things on?" He tried to take off the dragoon boots, but was unsuccessful. 

"It's okay!" Barret shouted from the car. "Just remember you have them on!" Cloud ran into the house. 

Meanwhile, Sephiroth was nearby, and prepared to pee on the wall of a nearby building. He would have, but there was nothing. "Drat," Sephiroth mumbled. With that said, he ran as fast as he could into a Wendy's, and drank a Biggie Coke in one minute to get that bladder full. 

Cloud ran into the house and up the stairs. Meanwhile, the bible holder had finished his prayers and was about to stab Tifa, but she wasn't there. She was behind him, about to hit him with a chair. But the man dodged the chair, and started swinging with the knife. The man holding Tifa down was...well, down. The guard was busy with Cloud, who had just equipped shield materia and used it. Therefore, his bullets were useless, and Cloud sliced him. He then ran up to see a man trying to kill Tifa with a knife, and Tifa defending with a chair. 

"Ice 3!" Cloud shouted, freezing the attacker in ice. He then looked to Tifa. "Are you alright?" 

"I'm fine," Tifa replied. "What's going on?" 

"We're going to find out," Cloud answered. 

Unfortunately, Sephiroth had gotten back to the house, and urinated on the wall. He then lit the pee on fire, in which the trail just happened to lead to the car. Barret, who was reading The Wall Street Journal (subscribe for only 57 cents an issue), noticed a small line of fire heading in his direction. By the time his panic disappeared and he realized what was going on, the car had already blew up and was in flames. 

Cloud looked out the window. "Is it just me, or would 90% of all car explosions not exist if gasoline wasn't flammable?" 

Tifa looked at Cloud. "Then how would the gas power the car, anyway?" 

Cloud suddenly realized that Barret was in that car. "No! Barret! Tifa, we have to get to the Nisan Church quickly!" 

"We can use my buggy." 

Billy was a bit surprised to see the man who was just there earlier that day back with a huge sword and the chosen girl. 

"You don't need that," Billy pointed out. 

"I didn't bring it last time," Cloud responded. "And look at how much I learned!" 

"You have the girl," Billy stated. "I think you're ready to be exposed to the truth." 

Billy took Cloud and Tifa down to the room Cloud had seen before. The old woman that was once speaking gibberish now spoke English. 

"Her language has been restored!" Cloud pointed out. 

"That's the power of faith." Billy responded. "Now, you still have a chance to walk away. Do you want to know the truth?" 

"Of course I do!" 

Billy walked towards the old woman. "Every millenium, Satan tries to destroy the world." 

"Every millenium? But last year was the millenium." 

"No, that was the commercial millenium," Citan interjected. "The real millenium is 2001, since there was no year zero." 

"As I was saying," Billy said. "Every millenium he tries to destroy the world." 

"Why wait a millenium?" Cloud asked. 

"Who cares?" Billy asked. "What happens, is Satan picks a male demon from hell with no good in him, and a woman with a heart of goodness. If these two...copulate...then they give birth to the apocalypse. But it can only be done during the last hour of the millenium." 

"Last hour? Is that eastern time?" Cloud asked very sarcastically. 

"Mountain, actually," Billy stated. "You know, the time zone the Nisan sanctuary is located in. Makes things simpler." 

Things were finally starting to sink in for Cloud. "So, Tifa's the chosen woman, and Sephiroth is the chosen man." 

"Exactly," Billy stated. "But you have done your job, Cloud. Now, you must leave her with us." 

"I think not," Cloud retorted. "My sword is a hundred times better than your 'faith'. Come on, Tifa. I'll protect you." 

Tifa hesitated. "I have a good feeling about this place. I'd rather stay here." 

Cloud wasn't about to leave her there. "Please come, Tifa! When Sephiroth comes to do you, there will be nothing to protect you!" 

Tifa walked away from Cloud. "I...want to stay here." 

"Fine!" Cloud shouted. "If you want to get laid and cause the apocalypse, that's damn fine with me!" With that, Cloud stormed out of the church. 

Cloud, depressed, was looking at pictures of his friends he hadn't seen in a long time. Vincent...Cid...even Yuffie he somewhat missed. All this was good until he noticed something. 

"Hello, Cloud," Sephiroth greeted. "How're things?" 

Cloud jumped back and brought out his sword. "How did you get in here?" 

"Through the wall," Sephiroth answered. 

"What do you want?" 

"Oh, Cloud, Cloud, Cloud. You're in so much pain. But guess what? So am I. This planet stinks about as much as Pauly Shore's acting. When I went to hell, I decided that things would be better. And they were. No fear, no republicans..." 

"What exactly is your point?" 

"What? Point? Oh...there is no point." 

Cloud frowned. "Then what the hell are you doing here?" 

"Ahah! See? Those words have a different context when you're coming-" 

"JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE!!" 

Sephiroth was startled at his anger. "I'll bet you're going to hell." 

Cloud gave a disturbed look. Sephiroth decided to stop beating around the bush. "Alright, fine. I'm here to make you a deal." 

"A deal? You've wasted all my time to try to make a deal I'm going to refuse?" 

"Just watch." Sephiroth flung his hands around a bit, and pretty soon, Cloud's run down, unclean apartment turned into a piece of beauty. The Christmas "pole" in his corner was now a tree. The bath, clogged up ever since he had bought the house, was now filled with water. And the woman stepping out of the bath, was Aeris. 

"Hello, Cloud," She said. 

Cloud glanced at Sephiroth. "You pervert." 

Sephiroth was stunned. "Oh, a sophisticated gentlemen, I see! Fine." A quick wave and Aeris was fully dressed. 

"How was your day, honey?" She asked. 

Cloud felt Aeris' shoulder. She was there, alright. But... 

"She's not real," Cloud pointed out. 

"So?" Sephiroth asked. "So what if she's a fake clone? Besides that, there's nothing different about her smile, voice, and personality." 

Cloud looked back at Aeris, who was still standing there. "Oh, Cloud," She said, giggling. "You're so funny." 

Cloud looked back at Sephiroth. "What's the catch?" 

"Eh?" 

"What do I have to give you?" 

"A very, very small thing. The location of Tifa." 

"No way." 

"Why not?" 

"Hello? The apocalypse?" 

"Oh, geez. Those church fellows always blow these things out of proportion. Apocalypse? Give me a break! All that happens is that I assume leadership of the world. Don't think of it as the end! Think of it as a new beginning!" 

"A new beginning? Your hellspawn would take over the world, and life would cease to exist! The answer is still no way." 

Sephiroth frowned. "I guess I have to remind you how cruel reality is." With that, Sephiroth waved his hands, and Cloud was in the temple of the ancients, with Aeris praying for holy. Another Sephiroth came down from the skies, and impaled Aeris with his sword. 

"No!!!!!" Cloud shouted, and ran at Sephiroth, slicing at what turned out to be air." 

"Don't worry, Cloud. It wasn't your fault. It was mine." Sephiroth went back to the cruddy house Cloud lived in, only this time, Aeris' dead body was in front of Cloud. Cloud tried to look away, but his head was stuck. 

"Come on, Cloud!" Sephiroth shouted. "If you tell me the location of the girl, you get to live with Aeris! And I promise you, your house won't be damaged a bit by my ruling." 

Cloud could bear it no longer. He shattered the image of Aeris with his mind, spun over to Sephiroth, and shouted, "NO!!!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!" 

Sephiroth jumped back. "Touchy subject?" 

Cloud stood straight. "You think you're bad? You're a sci-fi loving, super-sweet nerd compared to me! You're a choirboy! I'm the king pimp!" 

Sephiroth looked at Cloud. "Is that a yes or no?" 

"No!" Cloud shouted. "How many times do I have to say it? Go to hell!" 

Sephiroth grinned. "Been there, done that. You should try." Having said that, Sephiroth grabbed Cloud by the neck and pushed him towards a window. Cloud fell to the point where a single hand was all that separated him from life and death. He looked down. It was a long way. 

Sephiroth gave an evil grin. "You still have a chance. Now look. If you agree to make the deal with me, you get to live, you get Aeris, and a nicer apartment! If you don't agree, you die. What's your choice?" Sephiroth extended his hand. "Come on. Give in to your fear of death." 

Cloud extended his hand to Sephiroth. But instead of grabbing his hand, he grabbed Sephiroth's shoulder and pulled him out of the window. Sephiroth fell down on a car, smashing both himself and the car. Cloud climbed up. "I'm the king pimp," he repeated. Meanwhile, the poor person whose car was smashed was a bit upset. "My car! What happened to my car?" Cloud walked back from the window, just as he heard a ring on the doorbell. His heart stopped. Could Sephiroth be back? He looked back through the window, and saw that Sephiroth wasn't there. He was foolish to think that a mere 10-foot drop could destroy a reincarnated demon. The doorbell rang again. 

"Cloud? It's Barret!" 

Cloud looked through the peephole. "How do I know it's really you?" 

"Just open damn door!" 

"I thought you were dead!" 

"Couple of seconds, I would've been!" 

Cloud decided to open the door. Barret came in. "Why all the precautions?" 

Cloud told Barret the events that had just happened. "Oh...don't worry, Cloud. You can trust me. My head is straight. Just tell me where the girl is. I'll help protect her." 

Cloud hesitated, then told. "The Nisan church." 

In the Nisan church, Tifa was surrounded by several people, including Citan and Billy, who were muttering prayers. "Do not worry," Billy said, after finishing. "You'll be safe here." 

Perhaps the greatest irony statement of the millenium. At that point, Fei and some associates entered the area. 

"Ah, Fei!" Citan welcomed. "You've come to help." 

"Indeed, Citan," Fei added. "In fact, we've come to solve the problem." Several of the associates grabbed the church members, while Fei took out a knife, muttered a few quick prayers, and prepared to kill Tifa. 

"No! Don't!" Billy shouted. 

"Why not?" Fei asked. "If we kill her, then there isn't a problem. Sephiroth can't do her, and the apocalypse is stopped." 

"You can't stop evil by committing evil!" 

"Why not?" 

Billy was stunned. "Good point. But still..." 

Before Tifa could be killed, Sephiroth entered to add to the confusion. 

"How the hell can your presence be justified in here?" Citan asked. 

"Trust me," Sephiroth pointed out. "If I can sit through the movie Bio-Dome, I can walk in a church." 

Billy ran up to him with a cross. "Back, back, demon of stupidity!" 

Sephiroth chuckled. "You're holding it upside down. But that's okay. It wouldn't make a difference." Sephiroth batted the cross out of his hand. He then walked towards Tifa, kicking everyone out of the way. Then he looked at Fei. "I quote Mr. Monkey: 'YOU SUCK!'" and sliced Fei's head off. He was about to run away with Tifa when Cloud entered. "Sephiroth! Give me Tifa back!" 

Sephiroth looked at Cloud. "No! Finders keepers, losers weepers!" 

Cloud ran at Sephiroth with his sword. He was stunned by Sephiroth's enhanced skills. Just as Sephiroth was about to kill Cloud, Cloud ran away, grabbed Tifa, and shouted "Yoink!" He then proceeded to run out of the Church. 

"Tifa," Cloud began. "It's okay. You're with me." 

Yeah, right. Cloud suddenly realized that many people were running towards him, with simple garden tools and trashcans as weapons. Rather than try to fight them, he could do nothing but run away. But bad luck for Cloud! He ran into a dead end. 

"You know, if I had a dime for every time this happens in a movie," Cloud started, but didn't finish. Because the crowd of controlled fighters then appeared and began beating up Cloud. Meanwhile, Barret drove up. "Get in!" He shouted to Tifa. Tifa hesitated, and looked at Cloud, who was in the process of being beaten up by an angry mob of people under the spell of Satan. "Gee," She said. "What have I got to lose?" She got in. 

"Barret," She began. "Why aren't you helping him?" 

Barret looked at Tifa. "Sephiroth is waiting for you." 

Tifa's head dropped. "Aw, nuts." The car drove off. 

In Cloud's last seconds of consciousness, he was placed on a cross that was raised, and hung from a building, crucified like...you know. I can't say, because then I'd get death threats from the Roman Catholic Church. 

The date was December 31, 2000. And all was not well. That is, unless you consider the protagonist crucified and hanging from a building, the co-protagonist in the clutches about to be...penetrated by the antagonist, and the co-co-protagonist turns out to be the co-antagonist. Confused? I am. Tagonist tagonist tagonist. 

Billy found Cloud at noon. "Geez, Sephiroth," Billy muttered. "Wasn't that a bit harsh?" 

Cloud woke up at 10:10 PM, mountain time. He was in the Nisan Church. 

"Tifa!" He shouted. "Where's Tifa?" 

Billy held him down. "Calm down. You're in the Nisan Church. It's 9:30 PM. Tifa is in the hands of Sephiroth. Citan was able to track the car to the Red Light District near the ruins of Midgar. There's still time. We can still win." 

Citan looked at Billy. "That was beautiful. Let me write it down." 

Cloud leaped up, and his head hit the ceiling. Everyone glanced at him. "It's dragoon boots," he answered. "I can't get them off." 

Cloud reached the RLD near the ROM in no time on a buggy he borrowed from Billy at maximum speed. But, the distance was long, and by the time he got there, it was 10:55 PM. He saw footsteps leading towards some stairs. He followed them, hoping the stairs didn't lead to some sort of restroom. His thought was almost confirmed when he saw a figure rush past him. It was Robert Downey Jr. Nevertheless, he followed, and found a man tied to (can you guess? If you've seen the movie, you should) a cross. He had no eyes; and looked to be about 350 years old. Well, he looked, anyway. 

Robert Downey Jr. was stopped by him, then was allowed to pass. Cloud tried to slip by the old man, but was stopped. 

"Stop!" The old man muttered. The man looked at Cloud. "There is much hatred and vengeance in your heart." He then smiled. "Join the party! The festivities are about to begin! If you like porn, you'll definitely like this!" 

Cloud gave the man a strange look and continued on his merry way. The stairs eventually gave way to something very startling. Cloud looked, and saw a thousand satanic worshippers, holding candles, and chanting. Gave new meaning to a 'cult classic'. 

"Estuans interius ira vehementi, SEPHIROTH!" The cult chanted. 

Cloud walked by, hoping not to be noticed. The cult was so into their chanting, that they didn't even notice him. Cloud stepped on his tippy toes, and could see Sephiroth laying Tifa on some sort of altar. Behind Sephiroth, was Barret. 

Sephiroth glanced at Tifa. "This is what you want. I know." 

Tifa pulled out a condom from her pocket. "Here. I'll provide the necessities. 

Sephiroth batted it out of her hand. "I'm not that stupid." 

"Hey, Sephy!" Cloud shouted from the distance. "Got ED?" 

Sephiroth frowned. "Now is not the best time, Cloud. Barret?" 

Barret stepped forward, his gun arm aimed at Cloud. "Cloud. What makes you so sure you're going upstairs after this anyway?" 

"Well, that's the only way to go," Cloud answered. 

Barret gave a frustrated look. "I mean heaven, you idiot. You've done your share of bad acts as well. Like blowing up sector...er...well, a sector of Midgar, anyway." 

"You helped." 

"You're the one fighting against Satan." 

Cloud gave a confident look and stood up straight. "Barret, you can't shoot me. You won't shoot me. Because I'm not the enemy. Satan is the enemy. But, since he's not here, Sephiroth will do." 

Barret hesitated. Then, he turned his gun arm at Sephiroth and shot. A fat lot of good that did. 

"Barret," Sephiroth began. "We had a deal." Sephiroth ran Barret through. 

"Oh, my god! They killed Barret! You bastard!" 

Cloud grabbed Tifa, and began running, pushing through the cult. They went upstairs (no, not heaven). Cloud pushed Tifa back into the buggy. They drove towards the Nisan Church. They got there at 11:40 PM. By now, a large crowd had gathered around to celebrate the new year. By the time they got there, however, everyone had evacuated. 

Cloud looked at Tifa. "Hide!" He shouted. 

Tifa took the words into consideration and ran. Meanwhile, Cloud looked around, and saw the seats split, break, blow up, and simply disappear. Small portions of the ceiling fell down, as Cloud tried to dodge. It was then that Cloud realized that he could not do this alone. He dropped his sword. He looked up. 

"God," He began. "I still haven't forgiven you for Aeris' death. But...well, we all make mistakes. So, God? If you're there, I need a wee bit of help. Oh, and I also need a new pair of shoes." 

Then, in a moment of evil that would make Christian Slater cower in fear, Sephiroth appeared, in his One Wing Angel form. 

"How do you expect to defeat me?" Sephiroth asked. "When I am forever, and you are just a man?" 

"Beats me," Cloud stated. "What's the answer?" 

Sephiroth gave an evil laugh, and swatted Cloud with his wing. Cloud, feeling like an idiot for dropping his sword, tried to pick it up, but was unsuccessful. For at that point, Sephiroth cast stone on Cloud. The stone knocked Cloud back against the wall. Sephiroth then entered Cloud's body. 

Cloud was stunned for a minute, then got back up. "Tifa!" 

Tifa heard Cloud's voice, and got out of her hiding place and found Cloud. "Cloud!" 

"Tifa...it's over." 

"It's over? Great! Let's go home." 

With that said, Tifa grabbed Cloud's hand, and walked out of the church. Or, at least she tried. But Cloud pulled Tifa in the other direction. Two minutes remained in the year. There was still time. 

Cloud threw Tifa on the floor, and leaned down. 

"Cloud," Tifa began. "I know you can fight back. Don't let Sephiroth get the best of you. Please. For me." 

Cloud hesitated for a minute, then whispered to Tifa, "Run." Cloud then got up. He saw his sword, held upward by a stone that fell on it. Cloud knew that he had to sacrifice his life for Tifa. So he jumped at the sword. He would have killed himself, but he still had the dragoon boots on. Consequently, or unconsequently, he flew over the sword, and into the wall. Go with what works. 

"10, 9, 8, 7..." The crowd outside cheered. "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...YEAH!" 

The cheering continued on as Cloud woke up. 

"Is it over?" Cloud asked Tifa. 

Tifa looked at Cloud. "Not yet." 

Cloud felt Sephiroth's soul leap out, and for a small second, the entire room was filled with fire. Sephiroth's face leaped out of the flames. Then, it was over. The real millenium began. 

"Until 3001," Cloud stated. 

Tifa looked at Cloud. "Thank you." 

THE END 


End file.
